Five brave steps to overcome fear and build resilience
“Resiliency is something you do, more than something you have. . . You become highly resilient by continuously learning your best way of being yourself in your circumstance,” wrote researcher and author, Al Siebert
Brave men and women enter into a resilient lifestyle because they know that it is good for them. We are not courageous because we pretend we are not afraid. We become brave when we acknowledge our fears and rise again and again despite falling. Resilience is learning to bounce back again from setbacks and continually learning to grow in the capacity to recover. It is about getting up to try again despite being scared.
When I think of resilience, I think of a bamboo tree instead of a pine tree. Bamboo trees bend with the storm but do not break. It is this concept that we can develop because resilience is a skill that we can grow.
When everything seems to be against you, and you don’t know where to turn, look up.
The first step is to strengthen yourself in the Lord. How do you do this? Take time to remember the different names of God, then remember what He has done for you and His faithfulness over the years, then remember His works across the globe.
Look at David – when all around him things were falling apart – he chose first to strengthen himself in the Lord (“David was greatly distressed because the men were talking of stoning him; each one was bitter in spirit because of his sons and daughters. But David found strength in the LORD his God.” 1 Samuel 30:6). Then, after that, David inquired of the Lord about his next steps.
Therein lies a principle for you as you bravely overcome your fears, strengthen yourself in the Lord and then ask of him.
Build resilience into your life.
Secondly, this comes through embracing self-care. Self-care involves any activity that we do deliberately to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health.
In an excerpt from my book, FearLess (not yet released), I write:
“Self-care involves keeping your body, soul and, spirit healthy. The reason is that you can, not only stay motivated and function effectively but be able to help others positively too. Even Spurgeon was reported as saying: “We are our own tools, and must keep ourselves sharp.” It is not something that we force ourselves to do or something we don’t enjoy doing; it refuels us, rather than emptying us.”
Thirdly, develop a plan of action.
Ask yourself, what do you need to do:
- Go for counseling?
- Learn to love yourself?
- Learn about self-awareness?
- Grieve a loss?
- Forgive or be forgiven?
- Change your lifestyle or a specific habit? Our brains like to package and create habits naturally. They run at 200 times the speed of normal processing in our minds. All of this affects our ability to live with joy, without fear. Healthy self-care starts with developing small habits
Fourthly, develop the art of living, filled with resilient traits.
Resilient characteristics include allowing people to speak into your life and prioritizing physical health. Psychological resilience is also linked to exercise. Other features include learning to become adaptable. Be aware of what you can control in your life and learn to adapt to what you cannot control. Fear of man, fear of change and fear of failure will try to prevent you from becoming adaptable. Be prepared and think ahead regarding various aspects of your life.
Resilient people also have a strong connection to their purpose in life. They like themselves and can say no. If you struggle to answer no, then ask yourself this question: “If I say yes to ___ what am I saying no to?” This little question has helped me tremendously as I have learned how to build resilience in my life.
Finally, brave people are not scared to make mistakes. Mistakes are like portals of discovery in your life. If fear is holding you back from making a mistake, then stare at this giant in the face and say, “no more.” This is a crucial step in personal growth and development.
As you bravely face your fears, apply these five techniques in your life. You might find yourself in a joyful, broad and open space.
I thought to include a few remarkable and powerful resilience quotes to inspire you
Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow.” Mary Anne Radmacher, author.
“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.” Mark Twain (1835-1910), humorist and writer.
“Success is not final; failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” Winston Churchill (1874-1965).
“During difficult times, an important resiliency step is being able to express your feelings in healthy ways. You can’t make feelings go away, but you can move through them.” Al Siebert.