Lies left unchecked can really mess up our lives. It’s so much easier to believe that negative than to live out the positive or even the truth. I hope that this blog will shed some light on 5 lies we need to stop telling ourself.The words we speak shape our lives. But before we speak them out loud, there is a narrative in our mind that directs those words.
“A new study has found the average person has more than 6000 thoughts every day. Researchers have developed a new way to determine the beginning and end of each thought. Identifying this moment as a “thought worm” has allowed scientists to calculate exactly how many we have a day – and the average was a staggering 6200.”
That’s a lot of thinking going on in our grey matter. What you think makes a difference. Learn to renew your mind and your life will change.
5 lies you need to stop telling yourself
First, I always mess things up.
Isn’t that a sneaky lie? Lies tend to lure us into speaking in absolutes. We know the truth, however, it’s far easier to believe the lie. Yes, you will make mistakes. “To err is human,” wrote Alexander Pope, poet of the Enlightenment, around 1700. It is natural to make mistakes. It is here where we make mistakes that we learn.
So, how can you replace the lie? Tell yourself next time that it’s okay to make mistakes and that you are learning, trying and growing.
Second, people will laugh at me or reject me.
How often do we think others will reject us when we take a stand or try something new, when in fact, it is often the opposite? Their respect for you will probably only grow. Just recently, a friend of mine decided she thought her friends would ridicule her. Much to her surprise, they supported her and respected her for taking a stand. Their response bowled her over. There is a saying that we if stand for nothing, we will fall for everything. Alexander Hamilton was the closest aide and advisor to the USA’s first president, George Washington. Take a stand for something meaningful and see the world around you change. Don’t believe the lie!
Thirdly, nothing ever works out for me.
We speak our realities into existence. God created the world by saying the words out loud. It’s been proved that our words have the creative power to shape our lives and those around us. When you’re tempted to think these thoughts, let alone speak them out loud, take a moment and pause. Is that the truth? Think about your relationships, hobbies, ideas, business, or even your life.
How do you do this?
Well, you need to shift your focus and attention from what’s not working in your life, from what’s missing, or going on bad all around you into what’s working. This might mean that you stop watching the news or listen to voices that break you down. Count your blessings and start focusing your attention on the good that you do have in your life. Treat yourself as you would treat your best friend.
Fourth, I’m not good enough.
This is a lie that I’ve heard spoken out loud from many, many women. Those feelings of being found wanting can rob you of joy, energy, and even hope for the future. It affects your self-image, your posture and your outlook on life.
The Bible speaks of loving your neighbor as you love yourself. How do you do this practically? Look at your talents and skills. Write them down. You could even message a few friends and ask them what they think your strengths are and if they were to think of you, which three words come to mind. I’ve done that before and was pleasantly surprised. It helped me make decisions that lined up with my gift mix.
Fifth, I’m afraid I will fail.
Fear of trying results in inactivity, which masks as procrastination. The fear stops you from even getting out of the starting blocks. Fear of failure is something that I struggled with as a child. Can you believe I refused to swim in a gala when I was seven because my mother couldn’t guarantee that I would win! Ludicrous right. That fear of failure was so strong in my life that it stopped me from trying new things. When I eventually recognised its role in my life, I could deal with it and get rid of it. It takes some intentional work but is oh so worth it. I hired a coach, chatted with my friends about it and took proactive steps to rid fear of failure from my life. It started with acknowledging I was afraid of failure, then looking back at my life and seeing where it affected me, changing the narrative in my mind and cultivating self-awareness. What freedom and joy I now walk in. And you can too!
Take courage, and begin to walk in greater awareness of the lies you might believe, then get going to kicking them out of your life.
You can dream big.
You may make mistakes.
You can reach your goals.
More than that, you are more loved than you ever know.